i think i love you

I think i love you.

im not sure what i am feeling but i really like you a lot. i think about you all the time. i love being with you. i wish i could spend every second with you. i want to be with you, help you, love you, care for you. i can see us together, and for once i like what i see. You make me better. You make me real.

And im scared… what if you don’t feel the same way? What if i tell someone and they laugh or won’t accept me anymore?

How do you know?

My heart hurts

i want to cry and scream and throw up. Because of you. i hate you! your nothing! you don’t diserve anything! i wish you would rot in a hole and die! my eyes are so hot from all of the crying i just did. why would you do this. to me? to everyone? Im scared, confused and wondering who you are? where did the boy who loved poptarts, a good book, his dog, his friends go? and that was enough. who are you?

Myself at last! :)

“being with someone is one of those things that when it is wrong it feels really confusing and there are a million questions + excuses + games + you lose sleep + over anaylize it with your friends + try to act cooler than you are + check your phone every 5 minutes + other annoying stuff. when it is right it feels really easy.”

…That is why i had to say no to Sam. it was confusing and felt wrong. i wanted to say yes because he treated me right, but that doesn’t mean you can’t just be friends and enjoy each others company. I am just not ready to be in a relationship. I am young! i don’t want to be tied down! i have never had a boyfriend before, but i don’t want/need one. i have been asked “out” before but at the time it wasn’t right and i wasn’t intrested. i got it in my head that i would die alone if i didn’t have one, that i needed a boyfriend when i didn’t and that was stupid.

Now i feel free!

I can be myself again!

Now i don’t feel like i missed out on something that wasn’t there in the first place.

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http://pleix.blogspot.com/2010/02/cl.html
check this out so cute!!