High school? love or hate?

so i have not blogged in a long time like three months? i think longer than that.

well i know no one really reads this, and sometimes i am putting my stuff out there for a black hole to just suck everything up unnoticed, but i need to get my thoughts out some where because somethings i can't tell anyone.

so i have started high school! one word, WOW! it is great and horable at the same time.

i really love the freedom they give you, but that gives me more room to slack of which is not so good! but i have met a lot of great people!

my sister goes to the same school i go to, which some people may think is horable but i love it because we get along great and she has great friends like Keira and Jenna and Jose ( i think i spelled that wrong!) and they are great!

i know almost everyone and have made a close bond with them. i really feel confortable at this school like i can be myself and you don't always get that in high school.

My best friend Amega goes to school with me too! she went to middle school with me and she is great! i can tell her anything and she won't judge me. i love it and i love her so much!!:) hi Amega!

all of the teachers are really nice and they are always on the students side it is wonderful and i am passing all of my classes!
i also Lettered in varsity vollyball as a freashman!!! on just skill alone! i remember being so sad that i didn't make it on the varsity vollyball team that i cried!! But the coach saw my skills and put me in a varsity game! i played on both JV and varsity and got two awards i loved it so much!

on the down side though i have one person who hates me. i don't know why eather, she is Amega's friend so i tried to be friends with her but i couldn't stand the girl but i kept it to myself of course. and still tried to be friends with her, i don't really know why at this point because she would talk about me behind my back and say rude things to me to my face a was really rude to my friends. but for some reason i was still tring to play nice. until about a month ago i blew up in her face and told her what i really thought about her and well it turned into world war 1! which was the last thing i wanted to happen, but i couldn't stop in from happening i already knew that. i learned who my true friends were which was good that i found out now because i had a bad feeling about them anyway so i was right. but more sad that i lost them in a way. but the truth is, is that i don't like drama and i will do a lot to avoid it, if you disrespect me that is ok if you talk about me behind my back i can get over it but if you try to hurt my friends i will punch your lights out so fast that will not even be able to say sorry or that you were having a "bad day"!

if you are having a bad day don't take it out on other people! it only hurts you in the end.

and after all of that one of my friends moved because her parents are selfish and only care about their self. it wat the tenth time she moved that year!!!

on a lighter note all is well with my family(kinda). my parents are fighting about petti problems and are taking their anger out on each other which makes a unstable house hold. but other than that they are getting along better than normal.(kinda). anyways! i can't wait for christmas! i love seeing my family and seeing there faces when they open up their presents. i can't wait to see my grandma and have dinner with them and make sure they are all doing all right!

have a great christmas! or whatever you have? sorry. um and enjoy yourself!

can't wait till next year

i had a good cry with my sister last night i don't cry at all in front of people so this was a BIG step it is good for someone to know how i feel for once i hold everything in so this was good. I was crying about everything from my parents working all the time to my dad almost being out of a job to how my stupid t.v is not working and how i can't get to sleep at all and have some how become an insomniac. And she understood she made me laugh and she is going through the same stuff as me which is also good because she understands.

I haven't cried like that in about two years. Nothing was this wrong two years ago. i told my sister "next year lets do this again" "sounds good to me"

" Why are you crying stop crying"-my sister "i can't! everything is wrong"-me

http://http//listen.grooveshark.com/#/song/You_Belong_To_Me/22908251

this is me(kinda).

http://http//listen.grooveshark.com/#/song/In_My_Life/11613382
this is me understanding life (kinda) .
understanding that things do change (and not always for the better).
that it is not all about me.
that some people are not good people.
that people die.
that life isn't always fair or right.
that the person you love and the person who loves you are diffrent people.
that i'm not always right, or in the right mind i will be wrong sometimes.
that i'm not perfect and never will be.
that i make mistakes(REALLY REALLY stupid mistakes).
that i will say stuff that isn't true to make me feel better.
that some people will never change.
that it's easy to pretend that everything is alright and that you didn't see that horiable injustice.
that living with your eyes closed is easier.
this is me uderstanding life (kinda).
http://http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/song/Across_the_Universe/14499270
"any change even for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts."
"A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself."

looking on the bright side when there is no bright side.

ok so nothing good has happened to me at all this week in fact it it has all been bad but i feel good i have everything i could every want in the palm of my hand, the people i want to be around, and love me so much and i am going on vacation next thursday and am going to be doing what i love for 3 days swimming with the people i love the most and i just can't wait. and my cousins just came down from Idaho so i get to see them witch is great so i get to see them tonight!:) and tomarrow!:) so great. so even though some bad stuff happened i can always look on the bright side:)

hope you have a great week:)

xo Shyanne

well see?

I like him better when he's wearing clothes, not hoes.
ok that was the last thing i am going to say about ryan ross. ok, now that that is done with...
i am going to go on vacation with my cuz's and aunt and uncle to a big water park for a few days and this is what i really needed at the moment is to just forget stuff for a few days or even a few hours at a time you know? been busy need to clear my mind and spend a few days with my family. sounds good right. well see? ok so i was on youtube and i was watching these videos and i thought they were bloody amazing check it out:)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZT3ykAkLGg very cool!
and...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVrqydZz3e4 ha ha
and last but not least
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXn3ORQ5Hw8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mh4RSo4OlZ0 this is like my house
hope you like those if you have not heard of her then check more of her videos out. have an awesome day bye. ;)

i can't deal anymore im sorry

i cried i was so disapointed this is why...

1. Panic At The Disco broke up(i can deal with that)


2. ryan ross cheated on Keltie Colleen(bastered she is soooo nice but can still deal)


3. some people said that they might do drugs(might not be true can STILL deal)


4. ryan ross drinking ALOT(can STILL STILL deal not that bad)


5. the picture above on the table there is coke! COKE!!!! I AM PISSED OFF I WANT TO THROW HIM OUT A WINDOW AND MORE!!!!

i liked it better when they were not doing drugs. I mean they helped me through so much i loved them so much and i know a lot of girls say that but when my parents were about to get a devorse i was so deppressed and tired of them yelling there faces off and waking up to it on a sunday or saturday morning and i could not take it anymore i was about ready to run away, or worse. Then i found this music i heard that i understood and loved and could relate to and i fell in love with that band. my life was unstable and the one thing that was not unstable about my life was this band and i could hear it and just fade away into it i could just get lost in it really i could. and i was happy for once in a long time even though i would not admit to it but i truly was. happy.

then some stuff happened and i was not so happy anymore. Like the Keltie Colleen thing and it was and still is none of my buissness i know that they can keep that private, but then they broke up the band broke up. my happiness broke up how was that possible i thought to myself why would they break up something has to be going on? i was searching the internet one day and i was not even looking for it but it found it's way anyway. the picture, the picture, the picture. of the coke of the other stuff (i am sure you have eyes.) That was the most disapointing part of all. the people who helped me in my time of need, needed help?

but the worst part is some how sadly i knew this was going to happen but i still loved you well not anymore. my love is now gone, you have wasted it. And now your all alone.

i wish i couldn't care

I am so confused and i know that won't change. You really can't keep anyone happy is what i just learned, and i really hate it. I want to make everyone happy and i want everyone to be together but it's eather drugs or cheating or breaking up or making up, thats what's wrong and some times i feel like i am in a dead end world with a life that is just history repeating it's self and i hate it! I really do think that they should get back together but i know things won't change they sadly never do, but i know someone won't be happy and it kills me, he will keep doing drugs and playing the good guy card like the best liar that i know. You make my stomach acid turn but it's not fair and im sorry i will suport you but keep in mind until then it's not fair to me. i know you will make it you have always been a fighter not a lover and i will always love you that's what makes it so hard to let some of you go, that's what makes it so hard to see you like this, that's what makes it so hard to accept what you do, and have done but i will forgive and forget for you because it really is not fair. "Offering to help another person out of a bind is certainly admirable, but he or she could expect too much from you, and over-committing can leave you exhausted at the end of the day. You can still show your compassion; just remember that you cannot save anyone else unless you also save something for yourself." It is true you know you can't save anyone else but yourself and i really have a hard time seeing that, and now i am exhausted and it is all me fault.

my hero

it is so hard watching one of your heroes destroy their self
Super Guitarist Rock Star Man is my favorite superhero

or not anymore?

As cheap as that sounded, it rang clear with truth: he wanted his dad to love him enough to not drink himself to death.

same here but not my dad

invisible

at this point and time i could run around screaming and nobody would notice me! i just really wish some people didn't always think about their selfs. i really can't stand the sound of doors slaming anymore it is killing me i just don't have the capacity to be angry. the only good news i have heard all day is that panic at the disco(my favorite band) is recording and they already have demos so they arn't that far from a record so that made me very happy:)

anyone else but you

"You're a part time lover and a full time friendThe monkey on you're back is the latest trendI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone elseBut you
I kiss you on the brain in the shadow of a train I kiss you all starry eyed, my body's swinging from side to sideI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else But you
Here is the church and here is the steepleWe sure are cute for two ugly peopleI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone elseBut you
The pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive meSo why can't, you forgive me?I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else But you
I will find my nitch in your carWith my mp3 DVD rumple-packed guitarI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone elseBut you
Du du du du du du duduDu du du du du du duduDu du du du du du dudu du
Up up down down left right left right B A startJust because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smartI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone elseBut you
You are always trying to keep it realI'm in love with how you feelI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else But you
We both have shiny happy fits of rageYou want more fans, I want more stageI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else But you
Don Quixote was a steel driving man My name is Adam I'm your biggest fanI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else But you
Squinched up your face and did a danceYou shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pantsI don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else But you
Du du du du du du duduDu du du du du du duduDu du du du du du dudu du
But you"
http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/song/Anyone_Else_But_You/7992782
i love this song it is from one of my favorite movies Juno:)

swan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cP0zZ9LbDFs

check this out it is really amazing:)

my ugly man

i hope one day that i fall in love with a really ugly man because it seems to me that the pretty one's are all liars i really don't get it? . . .true love doesn't exist. Romeo and Juliet are crackheads, believe me. once fame called his name he forgot mine.

i'm in love with a lair and good one at that.

that is why i want a coin operated boy

http://video.google.com/videosearch?hl=en&q=coin%20operated%20boy%20video&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=iv#

watch the first video i love this song

it's funny

It's funny how hello is always accompanied with goodbye.
It's funny how good memories can make you cry.
It's funny how forever never seems to really last.
It's funny how how much you'd lose if you forgot about your past.
It's funny how "friends" can just leave you when your down.
It's funny how when you need someone they're never around.
It's funny how people change and think they're so much better.
It's funny how many lies can be packed into one "love letter."
It's funny how night can contain so much regret.
It's funny how ironic life turns out to be.
But the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.

STOP!!

had to throw this in their;)

i have been thinking a lot lattly about him and how this and this and this could have happened but screw it all fuck them wankers i really don't have the mental capacity to deal right now so if your thinking about that special someone that won't give you the time of day then stop and toss him to the curb or make a move or you are just making yourself feel bad and lonely and miserable so just stop! if he is worth it he will show you in more ways than one and if he has a girlfriend, stop! let them be. come on! girls can be so stupid i should know i am a girl and i see it all the time so why? and if you find yourself having to convince yourself that he is a good guy or he didn't mean it then stop! because you are wasting your time if we have learned anthing about anything we learn that history repeats itself. and some maybe thinking that i will never get over him oh my god but you will i should also know because i have done it many times you can do it! i know you can!

and if you have someone that treats you great hold on to them with your life, because they are the people that make love worth falling for:)

LOVE IS......

what does this mean to you?
to me it means everything, nothing, pain and just a word. to you?
this is what my friend said about it.

"You love him? till when? the harsh truth is till you know him, and I mean really know him, you cant know if what your feeling is love or just infatuation. a month or two a go you LOVED becca and now you HATE her. I know your feeling something and I'm not denying that it feels like love, I'm just saying give it some time before you give your feelings a name. you could be feeling love or infatuation or even hate...don’t get your self in deep before understanding what your feeling...just give it some time

this is the shit that'll make me famous{close enough}"
-my friend Amega
(ILY)

INVISIBLE MONSTERS

it's true you know we will change for the people we think we love. we will change so much that when we look in a mirror we try to find out who we are now our identity is always changing. Sadly we will never learn.

I was with you all the time then i wasn't but i still thought about you all the time, then less and less each day which was good, but i looked at it bad i thought i would forget you, when really that is what i needed most. to pretend you never happened and so i never thought about you again but lattly i have been thinking about you so much more and i don't know why? I just need to see you, hear your voice, i am addicted again because you were the one i let get away.

maybe i'll hide in aubergine dreams tomarrow ;)

i finished the book by the way "Invisiable Monsters" it is on my top 5 now

i have this one part i really like here it is

"tell the world what scares you most says Brandy. she gives us each an Aubergine Dreams eyebrow pencil and says save the world with some advice from the future.... while I watch my future trapped in the suicide net, Brandy reads another card from Seth. we are all self-composting. i write on another card from the future, and Brandy reads it. when we don't know who we hate we hate ourselfs. An updraft lifts my worst fears from the suiside net and sails them away. seth writes Brandy reads. you have to keep recycling yourself. i write Brandy reads. Nothing of me is oringinal. I am the combined effort of everybody i have ever known. I write Brandy reads. the person you love and the person who loves you are never the same person."

you all should read this book it makes you look at some things diffrently.

i wish i could do more

so my dog is now ok she i just laying around she

is like her old self now happy

and hyper so good.

but something that is not so good is people lattly.

they lie alot more for some reason i don't know why? like um for and example to your face to "protect" you how does that make scence? it doesn't thats how. this boy for example broke this sweet sweet girls heart i mean she is very nice she does everything for everyone else and he cheated on her he told her he loved her and then cheated she is not around alot she travels but you don't cheat because of that!!!! he lied to her face and had other girls in THEIR bed lied to her face broke her to shreds and wants no EXCEPTS to be forgiven. ha. ha. ha. right like that is going to happen agian see she did forgive him the first time but no not a second time. it like the saying "fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me!"

just can't understand how u can live with yourself when u hurt someone so bad when u lie and cheat to there face and tell them that ur not i....i...just don't get it. how can you do that? to a human being? and one you love or in his case "love"

i don't get you Mr."Author" i really don't

this is my dog sophie

i thought this was going to be a good week because i was at my grandma's house and she asked me to house sit and then i was going to shadow my cuz at her school because i was thinking about going there and then i was going to miss school on tusday and spend the night monday and then when me and my sister were driving home we got a call and it was my parents saying that our dog was in the hospital she had gotten in a fight with two not one but two dogs and they made her bleed and she was getting surgery this morning and i love her so much and i want her to be okay so bad but she is in a not so good condition and i am just waiting for my dad to come home with her :(

some not so good!

i feel like a bird in a cage

alot has been happening to me latly so i am going to shorten it down a whole lot!

1. vollyball tournament and winning awesome yah so proud of myself!


2. hanging with vollyball friends for two day tournament


3. getting to ride in my moms white v.w. 60's bug


4. geting to met my cuz's boyfriend conner who is really funny and nice i give him a 10 hell'z ya


5. waking up in the morning to find that you should dead by now because you are in so much pain from the vollyball work out. 5 hours of vollyball for two days not a good idea for a sane person but then agian


6. then did i mention that i woke up on a monday worst day to be tired day


7. found out my crush has no interest in me what so ever and is dating a girl all ready and i told him that i like him a while ago also we are friends but i can't look at him in the eyes at all anymore


8. life suck's!!

so ya that was friday to monday some good some not so good but i keep going:)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY

i was more than joyed to to spend it with my grandma and mom and sister and when we were talking i learned something, that you always have to take care of yourself and build your career first before you settle down and have kids and you know get married (if ever.)

Because my mom and my grandma's husbend's always said and still do say "you will never make it without me you could never take care of yourself without me and my money"

even though my grandma and mom work have and had jobs and are some tough cookies because my mom works three jobs and still does not make what my dad makes so he thinks "she would not make it without him."

so i learned that you always have to put your career first before you get a husbend and kids (if ever) and that you can't rely on any men you have to take care of yourself or you could be stuck in the same place forever. so stand on your own two feet not someone else's and don't ever take your mothers or grandmothers for granted.

So happy mother's day and treat them like a god!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byzQ2damGJs

the most. you know what just watch form your self it is amazing!
:)

what do you believe in?

you will get asked this question once in your life i am sure of it. At first you might be able to just say this or this or them easy, but you might think about it one day 'what do i believe in?'

honesty is the policy.

karma.

that you diserve better.

that you have true honest friend.

that you will laugh this off soon.

true love.

what do you believe in? why? i am not just talking about religion (dont want to get into that)

i believe in hear and now.

i believe that you cant waste time dwelling on the past because you never know how much you have until it gone.

i believe that you should love someone to a point were you cant love them anymore because you already do so much.

I believe I am irreplaceable.

i believe in good people.

i believe in true love.

so what about you?

When you're in love, you know you are. You can't stop thinking about that special one. You always worry about him or her. Your friends and family say you'll get over it, but you never actually do. Yes, you're in love. Even though at time you think you're over it, you see something that reminds you of him or her and your heart falters. What do you do? Do you call her up? Tell her how you feel? Or ignore it? What if you're the one who receives the call? Are you happy or upset?

this is ryan ross as a ninja turtle!
this just made my day a lot brighter:)

this is how i have been feeling this past week:(

i am so tired. today was a bad day but it is getting better i got to see my best friends today which was good, the bad part is that it is very gray outside:( and it is raining the other bad part is that eveyone is treating me like they dont know me or like i dont matter. i have been eating really healthy thought that is the good part too. A life leason for today for me is treat people well today, really i mean it, even if they dont treat you right at least you know its not your fault.

:) by the way i love the band above Panic At The Disco

i am at school right now it is so boring but hey internet so i guess i am cool for right now i have to type in this class so why not. How could they make school more fun, really how? i just found out in my art period that they are cutting out two weeks of school so it is going to end in may not june that is so awsome right?!
but anyways i am writting a story it is going to be really good i hope. i might give a little sneak peak up in this blog or little tiny parts who knows but i have to go so goodbye for right now:)

http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/song/Him/21602305 check this song out by lilly allen it makes me think about him. http://listen.grooveshark.com/#/song/We_Can_Work_It_Out/177369 this song to i love it:)

i am reading this story and in the story it says this and it got me thinking about it you should think about it to

"She rubbed her thumb over the back of my hand and smiled broadly at me."Think Ryan, make your own opinions. I know you want to." She said, her voice teasing and daring as she looked at me."About you?" I asked and smiled back. I couldn't keep myself from smiling if she was near.She laughed and nudged me in the side; laying her head on my shoulder and letting me wrap my arms around her shoulders. "About the world."The sun was setting in the distance as we sat there. "What do you think of sun sets?" she asked quietly."They're beautiful." I answered quietly.She laughed at me. "Why do you think that?"I was honestly caught of guard. "Because they are, they're amazing.""Yes, they are. But what makes them beautiful, to you?" She questioned, looking out to the horizon."The colors, the clouds, they're just beautiful." I answered, more confident this time.Of course, that didn't last long. "I think sun sets are beautiful because it's as if God painted the sky with every color you'd never think the sky could be, because even if you've had an awful day you can end it with a natural masterpiece of art. And they're also depressing, because it means that another day of your life has ended, that you have one less day to live." She sighed and traced my palm with her fingers. "It's a co-dependent relationship. Without the sour the sweet wouldn't be as sweet."We sat in silence once more as the sun dipped below the sky line and dark slowly overtook the air."

what makes something beautiful to you?wheather it be a sunset or a person what makes them beautiful?